Well, I suppose a post every six weeks is better than no post at all…
I just realized that I have neglected this space for far too long. I am in my final semester at college. While that is no good excuse, it is the reason I’ve not been writing. Between current class-loads, GRE tests, grad-school applications, church, family, and the normal-busy, I have been one stressed-out lady! But God has been right there beside me, encouraging and protecting me. He is incredibly faithful to us.
For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
I have been blessed recently with solid, literal assurances of God’s faithfulness (I’ll post about some of these over the next few days). He has smoothed the path for my feet many times lately. I have taken great pleasure in the peace He blankets over me when my struggles are great. So often have I benefited from His loving guidance that I have been sometimes guilty of forgetting that not everyone knows God personally. When faced with the raw, often angry, defensive, or sullen bitterness of those who can’t find their way to peace, I just ache for them to reach out to God, to let Him bear some of their load.
Today, for instance, was a normal-challenging day for me. I had one moment of panic when I realized I’d let a math study session linger too long — and I’d missed getting to the testing lab to pick up some of my student’s early final exams. I was very hard on myself. The word “irresponsible” felt stamped on my head. But I also felt the Holy Spirit inside me, in the voice that is not my own and with the firm insistence that does not originate with me, urge me to walk past the office “just in case” someone had stayed late on a Friday night. Of course, there were two people there, fully 15 minutes after the office should have been locked-up tight for the weekend. I retrieved the tests (and will grade them immediately after posting this).
As I walked out to the parking lot, I knew with the certainty of faith that God was responsible for me getting those tests to grade. Whatever it was that had kept me late must have been necessary in His will. While my students would not have been harmed waiting until Monday night to find out if they’d passed the course, I would have felt awful keeping them in suspense over the weekend. God had not only likely accomplished some greater good, but He’d kept my students from anxiously waiting, and saved me from feeling bad about neglecting them. I felt like shouting my praise. I said out loud to an empty hallway, “God, you are amazing!”
He is. He is just amazing.
After arriving home, still on a high from my experience with the Holy Spirit, I grabbed some dinner and sat down at my desk to check email and Facebook before hitting the books. On Facebook, there were the usual instances of coarse language, drama, relationship woes, along with encouragements from church family and friends. One teacher-friend reported that a young student had said something using concepts that were highly inappropriate for a student-teacher conversation. I couldn’t imagine what sort of life this young fellow had that led him to believe it was OK to say what he did to his teacher. He may have just been pushing at his boundaries, but the sexually explicit concept he spoke of crossed every line of appropriate ever drawn. Maybe he lacked any sense of boundary because he’d never been introduced to one. I wondered what his home-life could have been like and that if his home life was more or less “normal,” that perhaps access to nearly unlimited media was to blame. What new and strange times young people always have to try growing within. They need reasoning and loving adults to help guide them.
It seems that God needs faithful followers as much as He ever has to reach out into the world and help to bring hurting, broken, life-scarred souls to His waiting arms. As much as I would be content just basking in the warm glow of His peace, safe in my home and church, I prefer that He make of me a vessel for His will.
I find myself more and more each day asking God to use me as His tool on the Earth, to let me be hands and feet and voice for Him, hoping that over time perhaps a showing of steadfast love will engender some curiosity in people who don’t know God yet. Every now and then I get glimpses that it might be working. I pray for God to guide my movements so that I never speak out from a prideful heart or in a manner that causes people to turn away. I believe that the more I have faith that God will work in me and through me, the more lives around me will be encouraged. And the more it works that way, the deeper, richer, more satisfying, and more peaceful my own life becomes.
Again … amazing, I say!
As I was thinking of posting tonight, I came across 1 Thessalonians 5 and this passage:
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Indeed. Give thanks, for He loves you with all His heart. Even those who don’t yet know Him. And to those, I insist, God is just waiting for you to take His hand and step into an infinitely better world than you have ever seen.
Now, I’d better grade some tests.